The Inner Child
Meeting the part that learned to be small
There is a moment in almost every person's life when they understood that in order to be loved, they needed to be different from what they were.
You may not remember exactly when. But the body remembers. The patterns remember.
This practice is not about pity. It is not about blame. It is a meeting. With the part of you that decided something about itself in a moment when it didn't have enough information. And that part still lives in you, making decisions, reacting, protecting.
Find a quiet place. Set aside at least 20 minutes. You do not do this practice when you are in a rush.
Grounding
Sit. Both feet on the floor. Feel the contact.
Three breaths. Slow. With each exhale, a little more here.
Remind your body: I am an adult now. I have resources the child did not have.
The Image
Close your eyes. Allow an image of yourself as a child to arise. Don't search for a specific age. Allow the image to come on its own.
It might be 5, it might be 10, it might be 14. It might be unclear how old. All of this is correct.
Look at this child. Without judgment. Simply see them.
How do they look? How do they stand? What do they carry in their face or body?
If you don't see an image, feel. If you don't feel, simply know that she or he is here.
The Meeting
Move closer to the child.
Not to "fix" them. Not to tell them everything will be alright. Simply to be with them.
If they pull back, allow it. Don't rush. Simply stay nearby.
If they allow it, sit beside them.
Ask, quietly, inwardly: what do you need to hear?
Wait. Don't invent the answer. Allow it to come.
The Saying
Whatever needs to be heard, say it now.
It might be: You didn't do anything wrong. You did what you could with what you had.
It might be: You weren't supposed to take care of them. That wasn't your job.
It might be something entirely different. Allow your own words to come.
If tears arise, allow them. Crying here is movement, not weakness.
Integration
Imagine, if it feels right, that you take the child and hold them closer to you. You are not absorbing them, not erasing them. Simply inviting them to be with you.
Say to them: I take care of you now. You don't have to do it alone.
Three breaths. Slow.
Open your eyes. Stay.
The inner child is not waiting to be fixed. It is waiting to be seen.
After this practice: give yourself 10-15 minutes before moving on to something else. You might drink something warm. You might write. You might simply sit.